Catching Fireflies

 A couple of weeks ago, I was working in the garden and noticed a firefly (or lightning bug if you prefer).  It was the first one I had seen of the season, and I couldn't wait to go tell Ean.  He loves to catch them and put them in a jar, or whatever we can find.  We usually try to build an entire habitat to make sure the firefly has food and even water, and sometimes, we catch multiples so they don't get lonely. 

Catching fireflies as a child is a good memory for me.  Not all of my childhood memories are good ones.  Is anyone's?  In fact, a lot of my childhood memories aren't great.  Or the ones I can actually remember anyway.  I have vague memories of some things that were unpleasant, but fortunately, the memory often works in my favor.  I just can't always remember the bad stuff. Fireflies though, I remember. 

I remember being at Grandma and Grandpa's and catching them in the yard on warm summer nights.  Sometimes, we'd have an old pasta sauce or peanut butter jar that we repurposed as the home for the fireflies and we'd poke holes in the top for air.  Putting a jar of fireflies in your room at night to light up the dark room is somehow exciting as a child.  It's not a specific memory for me, as it's something I'd do often, but one I remember fondly.  I'm glad I get to pass that one on to my children.  Anna Beth and Samuel seem to have outgrown it, but Ean and Meredith are still of just the right age to look forward to night to see the backyard light up with them.  I'm going to hold on to that as long as I can. 

The good parts of my childhood are filled with gardens, picking strawberries, walking barefoot, being outside all day long and drinking from the hose, or wading in the creek to cool off, eating tomatoes directly from the vine, and picking fruit from the fruit trees that were in season.  I imagine I must have been a very sticky child.  The house didn't have central heat and air, and in the summer, even on the hottest day, it was often cooler outside than inside.  So, once we were up, eaten, and ready for the day, we spent it outdoors.  When we needed shade, we found a tree.  When we needed water, we found the hose.  When we were too hot to go on, we found the creek.  And when we needed a cool breeze, we found the front porch.  But in between those moments, we had adventures.  

We didn't all grow up going to the same school or live in the same town, but especially in the summers, I grew up with cousins who were more like siblings.  We were all close in age and together a lot.  We had sleepovers, and sometimes when the grown-ups were busy doing grown-up things, we just spent the day together.  I can't tell you the number of mud pies I have baked, or how many crawfish I have caught with my bare hands.  Those little guys are so fast, and now, as an adult, I can't seem to catch them so easily.  

I miss that kind of childhood and I want so badly to pass it on to my children.  I am fortunate to have the ability to do that, at least in part.  They get time at the river, and when we get the chance, we go on small kayaking trips where they have the opportunity to practice skipping rocks and catching critters.  They don't mind getting wet or dirty, and that to me, makes for a happy childhood.  When they aren't at the river, they sometimes like to be outside, riding bikes, going for a walk, or driving the golf cart around.  They make their own adventures and play with the animals, but somehow, it isn't quite the same. 

Technology, while amazing in so many ways, has stolen the childhood from so many children, including my own.  I don't want them to be completely deprived of it, and yet, many days, I regret ever letting it into my home.  My husband has always had a thing for technology, for entertainment.  He likes to play video games (although he doesn't anymore) and likes that he has passed that on to his children.  I've just never cared for anything that requires me to stare at a screen for hours on end, whether it's the television, a phone, or a laptop.  My eyes, brain, and body all need breaks.  This is one reason that we don't homeschool with an online curriculum.  We prefer quick and easy workbook lessons, and then off to play and explore.  Except, sometimes my kids don't want to explore.  As soon as they get free time, they want to turn on the XBox, grab the laptop, get out the Nintendo Switch, or turn on the tablet.  Some of the things they do have a little value, but most of it is just mindless videos and games.  I truly hate it.  

I realize that at least in part, it is my fault.  They don't have jobs and can't make those big purchases without saving up Christmas and birthday money for years.  But I do feel like I'm fighting a losing battle.  I'm very thankful that parental controls exist on these devices and that once they've met their intake limit for the day, that we preset, they can't use the device again until the following day.  They are fully aware that these exist, and that it limits their time and content.  My husband would be happy to let them have devices all day every day, but he agreed with me that limits should be set and so that's what we did.  The problem is that once they are finished with one device, another is usually available.  

A few weeks ago, Samuel got into trouble for multiple infractions.  His attitude needed some work, and so I took away his electronics for an indefinite amount of time.  He went about two weeks without them, and once he got over his initial anger with me, I could see almost an immediate change.  He was so much more pleasant that I never wanted to give them back.  But eventually, he earned them back, and so I did.  Within a day, the old attitudes and behaviors had returned.  Maybe they weren't as bad, but they were there.  He doesn't have a cell phone and none of my children are allowed on social media, but even without it, technology seems to have often taken over. 

I admit that I am on it more than I should be as well, but typically, I am writing, or listening to an audiobook.  And when I'm not doing those things, I don't usually even know where my phone is.  I lose it multiple times a day because I don't feel the need to have it on me at all times.  But I know that this is not a habit they had to pick up from me or anyone else.  Technology just becomes addictive, and it happens fast, before you realize it.  

So, I will continue to fight this battle every day, until they are grown and no longer under my care.  I will fight it because I don't want them to look back on their childhood and have no good memories, but instead only remember sitting in front of a screen.  I want them to remember catching fireflies and putting them into jars, sitting around a backyard fire roasting marshmallows, swimming in the pool, wading in the river, skipping rocks, or jumping in puddles after a good rain.  Those are real memories.